on having perspective, swallowing complaints, and an engagement

being peacemakers

Welcome back readers, and welcome, new readers –

History continues to happen around us, sometimes confusing, sometimes distressing, sometimes exciting. But whatever is happening in the world or our lives, as Christians we’re called to be peacemakers. None of us is likely to to broker an international peace treaty, but each of us can chose to be a person who leaves others a little happier and less stressed, a little likelier to remember that, in the words of Julian of Norwich, “all shall be well.” We decided it would be timely to think about ways that we can do this more — please give us your thoughts and ideas in the comments.

Important announcement: All readers should congratulate Norann, whose oldest son Jordan just announced his engagement to Madeleine.

Marianne – in Woodcrest, upstate New York

To be a peacemaker you need to be peaceful yourself, and a good way to do this is to seek the company of peaceful people. In my experience, this often means either the very young or the very old. An excellent thing about life in community is that it’s not difficult to find ways to encounter such people.

Our family lives in a typical Bruderhof house which has apartments for eight families. We’re fortunate to have as neighbors a family with children younger than ours, including a curly-headed one-year-old with a beguiling smile and an adventurous spirit that brings her careening down the hall to visit us (or more accurately, our parakeets). To see Ila is to be reminded of how simple it can be to achieve complete happiness: you wave to her, and she blows you a kiss. When she shows up, any household dissension instantly vanishes, at least for the moment: we’re waving and blowing kisses.

In the same way it’s peaceful to be in the presence of Oma Veronica, our neighbor downstairs. She’s a widow in her eighties, and her life has been anything but simple, but she approaches each day with generosity, cheerfulness, and unfailing hospitality. It helps that she has a wonderful gift for laughter. She continues her life’s work of (as the vows that Bruderhof members take say) “working in the service of love” by reaching out with a smile, and often a baked good or other gift, to everyone she encounters, all while taking the long view about things that she knows she can’t solve herself.

This is another key to being peaceful: to be able to hold things in their right proportion, as described in a hymn we sing, “That we see as small the small things / And the great we see as greatness.” To do that it helps to spend time with people who have their perspective sorted out: most of the things that agitate or annoy me are of no concern to Ila or Oma Veronica, whereas finding a reason to laugh and simply enjoy the moment together are.

Trudi – in Spring Valley, southwest Pennsylvania

Thank goodness my father has a wonderfully diplomatic soul: he and my mother raised nine daughters. Lord knew it would take a special kind of father to maintain peace in such a household. Humor was a frequently used and effective tool.

I know the gift of peacemaking can also be acquired by cultivating peace at heart. But how to get there?

A few years ago, while listening to an Elisabeth Elliot book, I encountered something that has challenged me ever since: through living with an indigenous tribe in Ecuador, Mrs. Elliot learned that the practice of “complaining” needs no place in our lives. She observed women who regularly slogged through wet muddy jungle, all carrying heavy loads, yet no one ever whined that it was too wet or her load too much. Complaining wasn’t even part of their culture; common sense told them it was futile.

In Western culture, voicing a complaint to anyone who might be listening, seems surprisingly common. From my Korean friends, however, I learned more reserve—respect for those around me. As one friend explained, the contentment of one can be ruined by the negativity of another. Korea taught me to be a peacemaker simply by how I lived and worked. (Note: I did not become a peacemaker. That takes daily effort.)

Bit by bit, I’m learning to swallow complaints. I can thank for sunshine, snow, or rain (although I wish I could have seen the full moon tonight), and most importantly, accept the inevitable hiccups of daily life shared with others. Peace begins with me.

Peace Like a River. (November 2022 in Korea.)

Norann - in Danthonia, New South Wales, Australia

Community in any form is a wonderful training ground for peacemaking. Every single day we have opportunities to create peace, share peace, or have others help us to find peace. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned about how to make and keep peace in every day living. Please share your favorite ways in the comments so that everyone can benefit!

1. Tend to the hearth of your heart on a regular basis by addressing any un-peacefulness there and then taking action. (If it’s worry, let it go; if it’s wrongdoing, set it right; if it’s something you can’t fix, ask God to do the heavy lifting; and if it’s a minor thing about somebody else that’s annoying you, remember the wise words from Anne Lamott: “A hundred years from now? All new people.”)

2. Forgive. As quickly as possible.

3. Listen. Deeply, and as often as you can.

4. Serve others.

5. Pursue things of eternal worth. The elements of life that make us the most unpeaceful toward ourselves and and others - comparison (always the thief of joy), jealousy, collecting material objects, and gossip - are earthly and fleeting.

6. Step bravely into places of conflict and help people navigate them with truth, listening, kindness, and a kingdom-orientated goal of reconciliation.

7. Eat together. A generous and abundant table is one of the most powerful tools for peace building, maintaining, and sharing.

And finally, one of the most beautiful songs about peace that I know is an American Girl Scouts number called “Peace, I Ask of Thee O River”. It’s a family favorite that we managed to record on our back porch a few years ago:

Things we’re doing and enjoying

Trudi

November brought rain, after a very dry summer and fall. I’m enjoying evenings with the sound of rain on a roof or wet walks through the woods, on a carpet of newly fallen oak leaves. The cold wetness and short daylight hours, make me look forward to the light and warmth that Advent and Christmas will bring.

I enjoyed seeing an intrepid lone flower still growing bravely from its niche in a wall. What determination! May we all bloom with such courage and not complain that our soil isn’t softer—our roots and fruits will be stronger for it.

Norann

Our family is celebrating, as two amazing things happened on the same day this month:

1. Our oldest son, Jordan, announced his engagement to Maddie.

2. Our second son, Mason, completed his Bachelor of Paramedicine Degree.

   

I’m holding a lot of emotions at the moment: immense gratitude for the gift of love between our son and his fiancée, thankfulness for our first daughter, wonder at the completion of three and a half years of study for Mason, prayers for Mason’s safety as he begins his graduate year of paramedic work in New York City, and awe for our God who is always busy writing new chapters just as old ones are ending.

Marianne

I just finished reading Elizabeth Goudge’s The Little White Horse to our two youngest children (we got through it in less than a week because I was constantly being begged for anther chapter). There are many things I love about this book, but one is that it includes a magnificent feast that happens at the end of the book after two courageous children (with the help of several remarkable animals) have brought peace to the village where they live and the family motto – “The brave soul and the pure spirit shall with a merry and a loving heart inherit the kingdom together” – has finally come true.

I’ll share the menu for this feast here in celebration of the wonderful events in Norann’s life and in hopes that happy endings will flourish everywhere.

(Marmaduke is the cook, and Maria is one of the courageous children.)

The feast happened as planned, ancient wrongs were set right, and

Wishing all of you a day that’s happy right through to the end. Enjoy the season you’re in!